Thursday, May 28, 2009

Ever Wonder

Ever wonder if there is something more you could be doing with your life? Ever wonder what that certain thing is that you are great at? Or where your true calling is? I do, and sometimes I think I think about it too much.

There is so much I want to do in this lifetime, but I don’t know where to start. I hope to travel abroad in a year’s time to either South Korea or China. I want to obtain a business degree after I finish my diploma. Maybe there is to many ‘I want’ in this picture that I want to make into reality. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough or working hard enough to obtain my dreams.

In three days I am supposed to be standing on a stand, in front of 1000 or more people getting my diploma. But because I didn’t work or try hard enough I am one class short and it is not being offered for another year. I am so frustrated and disappointed in my self; I have become an emotional wreck. I mean I’m to a point where I stand in front of a mirror and want to grab my blanket and cover the reflection of a failure.

Not to many people believed in me when I started out my two-year diploma. There were many people that thought it was a joke or I would fail. No I’m starting to believe them even though I have accomplished more than I had originally though. I am not sure on what to do, maybe I’m meant for failure.


hollybee said...

Don't feel like that! I'm sure you're doing wonderfully,and even if it takes a while YOU CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN, just keep believing darlin!!

~*~MoOnEyEs~*~ said...

thx hun.